Since we’re actively flirting with authoritarians in our American government, we should just quit the charade.
We scream at strangers over the internet. We’re totally okay paying public education teachers poverty level wages, and then having the audacity to say they should be armed against active shooters. We shoot people whose driving standards are different to ours. We rationalize meeting despots for glorified photo ops. We freely pollute our Earth in every conceivable way, devastating the resources of the future generations long after we’re dead and gone. We actually put children in fucking cages and then actively obstruct justice if any breach of trust occurs.
Civility is fucking dead, so why not embrace a limited application of fascism in certain situations? Take for instance in movie theaters, where I’m sure a modest majority might embrace a brutalist philosophy.
In defiance of those little warnings before the start of movies, I’ve seen a lot of rude, abhorrent assholes at the movies recently. Since we’re apparently okay as a society condoning the things as described above, and rationalizing it afterward, we should extend the vestige to the movie theater, one of the last places on Earth we view and interact with each other with equal footing.
We’ve all seen the asshole two rows ahead of you pull out his smartphone (with the really fucking bright display) during the movie. And if you’re like me, you’ve fantasized about telling this ruffin to put his freakin’ phone away. But like masturbation, it’s just that, only fantasy.
Personally I would prefer the Big Brother method of corralling filmgoers. Everyone’s locked down for the entirety of the movie, barring trips to the bathroom. (There’s a thin line before fascism and sadism, you know.) So how about we install a dome surveillance camera over the room of the theater and if the night vision picks up some dick pulling out his phone to checkout an app, two tall imposing figures wearing black will come and forcibly eject the guy!
Alamo Drafthouse kinda has my back on this.
We should totally be okay with a shadowy, ethically immoral entity governing the theaters! If we’re okay with private prisons violating prisoners rights and committing endless human rights violations, then this isn’t a bridge too far!
Shame works wonders! Imagine having to travel to some squad room within the theater, where you have to bail out your significant other since they took out their phone to text somebody! Wouldn’t you be embarrassed to pick them up! What if someone sees you… We’re not okay with drunk driving and we could instill this belief in the next generation. Nevermind the Supreme Court! It’s not like they’re nonpartisan anymore!
Or what about those stupid kids or rednecks who won’t stop yapping during the summer popcorn flick? Or what about the person who brings their baby to the next Man of Steel film? In this instance, I gleefully envision a recreation of that one scene early in Con Air where an inmate spits on the guard who responds by having a cohort duct tape the prisoner’s mouth and throw a mesh bag over their face. If it’s uncomfortable for us why should it be comfortable for them…
Or in the least likely scenario in the best of worlds, we could inundate movie theaters with enough complaints and calls to action to make them bring the hammer down, as recommended by bloody-disgusting. But then again, who are we kidding?